Confused and Lonely
Who Are You?
I don’t really know.
Whose arms do you fall into?
At the end of the day, no one’s. I don’t have anyone who really understands me.
What is the one miracle you are waiting for?
To find someone who loves me and someone that I can tell them everything: the big things and the little things.
What is your weapon?
Myself, I always put myself down.
Whom do you miss the most?
I miss my friend. When I switched schools, our relationship kind of died. I would love to be friends with her again.
What are you scared of?
At the end of the day, I’ll have no one who loves me.
What is your favorite memory?
It’s not a specific memory, but at camp. You actually came to my camp, Gindling Hilltop Camp. I feel like I’m close to finding myself there more than anywhere else.
When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?
He gave me the treat of going to camp.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?
The ones you gave me. All the wisdom and advice and opinions you shared with us, I hope I’ll never forget.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
The advice you gave us.
What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?
To listen to me, but don’t suffocate me. Give me space, but don’t separate yourself from me. I will always love you, despite what I may give off. It hurts when you yell at me, and I’ll never be perfect like Erica. I am my own person and you have to accept that.
Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?
There is an emptiness inside of me. It feels like I might collapse, that I might break. It happens when my parents are disappointed in me, or I disappoint myself, mostly.
Are you enough?
If it’s a good day, I’ll look in the mirror and smile at myself. But most of the time I’m not happy with who I am. Maybe because my parents and grandparents always try to improve me, trying to make my lose weight.