Who Are You?

I’m gay. I’m both male and female and neither male nor female. I’m everything I’m not supposed to be. Nine times out of ten, I’m the one being bullied, the one putting everything on the line only to have it thrown back in my face.

Whose arms do you fall into?

I haven’t fallen into anyone arms yet. I’m still waiting for a knight(ess) in shining armor to come rescue me from this hell.

What is the one miracle you are waiting for?

To be able to live a day when I’m glad to be alive.

What is your weapon?

Myself. Isolation.

Whom do you miss the most?

EB…may she rest in peace after dying this past year by her own hands.
What are you scared of?

Dying. Living. Sex. Pleasure.

What is your favorite memory?

Telling on myself (to an adult) before I pulled the plug to end my life. Reaching out for help and submitting myself to going to the emergency room to stop myself from acting upon my urges.

When was the last time God spoke to you and what did He say?

She said how I’m beautiful and I deserve to live free of fear.
What words are you holding onto in your pockets?

The wish of “la libertad de nao sentir medo” (The freedom to not be afraid)

What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?

Someone, somewhere in this world, is waiting to meet you.

What advice would you give to your parents that will help them in raising you?

Don’t ever doubt your child of his/her potential.

Is there sometimes an emptiness inside you and what does it feel like?

Yes. It feels like being locked in my dog’s cage. Or like the time I had to eat dinner after visiting Auschwitz.

Are you enough?

No. I think if I were enough I would not be so dependent on self-loathing jokes.