Hiya Scott
On my 12th birthday…this 15 year-old guy came up to me and hugged me. I don’t know what happened but I felt like my heart was being crumbled so I pushed him away and watched him leave. Since then, not a day has gone by that I don’t think about him. I found myself loving this kid. But I was too young too even be myself around him. He started talking s**t about me so I picked up scissors and started slicing my thigh. But nothing happened. So I fell into my bed and passed out. When I tried again, I picked up one of those eyebrow thingies are really sharp and I slit my arm over and over. I had 6 scratches. Days went by. I slit my thighs for I was scared my parents would see the scars. I spent the whole summer thinking about him. In 8th grade he kissed and never talked to me again. I cut myself in May. I don’t remember why. I’ve been cutting myself for the tiniest reasons. I promised my new boyfriend that would stop and broke this promise. And then…I cut myself again for breaking this promise. Then I promised my friends and I broke that one too so I cut myself with the pencil sharpener blade. I keep contradicting myself. I just need someone to listen to me because it seems that no one really cares. And I know how you felt as a kid. And I tell you ’cause I admire you. And if I had the chance I would show that as messed up as I might sound, I love you. And I’ve felt numb for the past 3 years. Lately less because of my new boyfriend. Because I think I love him. But there’s something always there on the other side of the mirror – encouraging me to slit. And I am getting help. And I am getting better. And I have talked to people. And I just want to say thank you for being there today and giving us all that talk. And I know I sound crazy but I will miss you.