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Lectures

Click on any of the words in the cloud below to see the lectures that are relevant to that audience. Click “All” or “Lectures” to see the full list again.

  • REAL TALK ABOUT REAL CONSENT

    Many college and university campuses have adopted affirmative consent policies. More than the standard of human decency, it is the law. Issues of sexual assault, rape and consent are nowhere near as cut-and dried as we were once raised to believe. In this important lecture, using his own life experiences that led to his HIV infection, Scott courageously explores the broad and comprehensive definition of consent in a way that all students can understand: consent before sexual activity is clear, knowing, voluntary, affirmative, unambiguous, conscious, ongoing, sober, wholehearted, unforced, active, respected, attentive, explicit, enthusiastic and mutually agreed-upon.

    Potential Audiences: College students, high school Students, Title IX programs, parents, women’s studies, Greek Life

  • AM I ENOUGH? - A Survival Guide Through the Arc of Adolescence

    This workshop addresses adolescence’s feelings of isolation and separateness and teaches them to embrace the difficult issues that arise as they grow to adulthood. Scott shares how his own journey has led him to help young people make peace with life’s demanding circumstances. Using case studies and real emails from teens in crisis, Scott takes participants through topics including sexual responsibility, drug and alcohol abuse, eating disorders, cutting and suicidal ideation, tying them together with the central theme of loneliness and seclusion.

    Potential Audiences: High school and college students and those who work with and care about them: teachers, parents, counselors, principals.

  • FROM SCARED TO SACRED: AIDS, Love, & Staying Alive

    This 90-minute presentation details Scott’s personal story – contacting HIV at age 24, surviving almost three decades, and ultimately turning a curse into a blessing. Scott describes having HIV infection in a context all young people can understand: vulnerability, loneliness, isolation and hopelessness. His story provides a powerful example of learning from your mistakes and growing through adversity. It ends with a musical video montage of the many faces and voices of Scott’s friends who have died from AIDS.

    Potential Audiences:
    This lecture has campus-wide appeal and lends itself to broad co-sponsorship. The program is recommended for peer educators, fraternity/sorority students, AIDS Awareness clubs, resident advisors, gay-straight alliances, AIDS Awareness clubs, SADD members, and various student organizations. Can be adapted to middle school audiences as well.

  • SOCIAL MEDIA AND TRUE INTIMACY

    Social networking allows us to manipulate our image and broadcast to the world the illusion of who we want to be, instead of who we really are. In this lecture, Scott discusses how social media can creates false intimacy, instead of allowing teens to experience true closeness. He also discusses other dangers, explaining how platforms such as Facebook, Twitter and Tumblr provide momentary distractions and embolden teens to behave uncivilly toward one another. In addition, he offers tips for healthy Internet relations and developing an appropriate Internet persona.

    Potential Audiences: Middle school, high school and college students

  • THE ABC'S OF STI'S: Everything You Always Wanted to Know But Were Never Really Taught

    In this program, Scott holds an extremely important conversation about the definition and mechanics of safer sex, correct condom use, the risks of oral sex, alternatives to sexual intercourse, sexual self-respect and modes of transmission of sexually transmitted diseases/infections, especially AIDS.

    Potential Audiences: This program works best in a more intimate setting in which students can feel free to ask any question and where Scott has the time to answer in a full and personal way. Settings may include: Health classes, Biology classes, peer counselor workshops, residence life training programs, and follow up sessions to Scott’s “AIDS, Love and Staying Alive” program. Can be adapted to middle school audiences as well.

  • HOW TO HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH YOUR TEENAGER: The Parent Talk

    In this moving presentation, Scott Fried reveals the secrets most teens would like to keep from their parents, giving detailed personal accounts of teens from around the world. He offers specific ideas and techniques on communicating with a teenager through this difficult time of adolescent angst and their experience as the newest members of the sexual community.

    Scott’s message is a gentle reminder of what every teen wants more than anything else: the tender presence of a loving other and permission to be whomever they are becoming.

    Potential Audiences: Parents, educators, counselors and anyone who cares about today’s teens.

    Read parent’s reviews of this lecture…

  • THAT'S SO GAY! - A Conversation Around Bullying and Healing

    In this discussion, Scott outlines different types of bullying in our teen communities, including the use of the Internet and modern technology as well as speech to wound, manipulate or lie and how it not only hurts others but damages our own soul’s development. This workshop offers ways to help revert this harmful behavior, including techniques for better listening skills, non-verbal and silent communication, forgiveness and self-reflection. Together, the participants consider the journey from “It Gets Better” to “How Do I Make it Better?”.

    Potential Audiences:  Middle school, high school and college students and those who work with and care about them: teachers, parents, counselors, principals.

  • AIDS & THE JEWISH STUDENT

    The AIDS crisis is not over and neither is the obligation of Jews to address it. Scott offers a religious perspective on the subject of HIV/AIDS in light of Jewish imperatives such as B’kur Cholim and P’kuach Nefesh. This program provides a religious and cultural perspective on the AIDS crisis by incorporating formal Jewish text and current Jewish philosophy/poetry in order to illustrate how Jewish students should not only act as agents for change in our community but, more importantly, value their own lives in the face of life-challenging situations.

    Potential Audiences: This workshop is a winner with Hebrew schools, Jewish Day Schools, rabbinical students, Jewish youth groups, Hillel students and the professionals who work with these emerging adults.

  • THE SECRET LIVES OF TEENS: A Workshop for Teachers and Professionals

    THE SECRET LIVES OF TEENS: WHAT EVERY TEACHER SHOULD KNOW
    Teenagers carry a secret life into the classroom. Scott explains the sometimes painful and potentially destructive secrets thousands of teens have shared with him and the methods they use to survive adolescence. He also explores the reasons for self-destructive behaviors, the realities of teen sexual behavior, including sexting and social media, and ways adults can create a healthy dialogue with teens about their secret lives.

    Potential Audiences: Teacher conferences, Guidance Counselors, Doctor Conferences for CME Credit

  • DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS? - Eating Disorders, Body Image and You

    This program is for both male and female students, covering topics such as body image, sexuality, dating, refusal skills and self-abuse. Discussion includes ways to find peace with an inner existential void, how to ascertain the causes of negative thinking, addressing our self-destructive behavior and learning to live with emptiness.

    Potential Audiences: Sororities, fraternities, feminist student groups, men’s groups, peer educators, Women’s Studies organizations, student life professionals.

  • THE CLOSET MONOLOGUES: Coming Out and Embracing your Sexual Orientation

    The issues facing today’s LGBTQQI young people are both as old as time and as new as today’s headlines. In this program, Scott addresses many of the challenges and responsibilities facing gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgendered youth. The program deals with how societal shame can transform into internalized self-hatred and cause a multiplicity of risk behaviors. Program discussions also include disclosure issues and what it really means to be “in the closet” or “out.”

    Potential Audiences: LGBT students, peer educators, gay-straight alliances, student support personnel, parents, teachers, clergy.

  • A SHORT HISTORY OF GAY PRIDE

    Sometimes, the most interesting things about a person are on the top shelf of their “closet.” From Stonewall to Edie Windsor, Scott explores the journey of the LGBT movement in America, juxtaposing his own “coming out” experience along the way. Topics include the Stonewall Inn riots,  the APA’s DSM diagnosis, the assassination of Harvey Milk, the emergence of GRID and the HIV/AIDS epidemic, “Don’t Ask/Don’t Tell,” DOMA, ENDA, the growth of civil unions and gay marriage, the rise of transphobia, the crisis of gay teen suicide and LGBT homeless youth, to name a few. Using his own life history alongside these and other landmark LGBT events, Scott encourages the participants to celebrate the achievements of the past 50 years and consider where we go from here.

    Potential audiences: This talk is a great fit for LGBT awareness/sensitivity in corporate settings, LGBT students, Gay/Straight Alliances, peer educators, universities.

  • WORKING SIDE BY SIDE WITH PRIDE: Bringing Your Authentic Self to Work

    In an effort to help create workplace equality, this presentation addresses how to bring your authentic self to work. By expanding the definition of inclusivity and broadening the concept of diversity, Scott provides ways to successfully engage and support corporate employees in creating an inclusive and more supportive work environment. He challenges some of the stereotypes associated with the LGBTQ community and offers important life values. Hear his powerful story and lessons learned along the way that can help to nurture diversity, authenticity and inclusion in the workplace.

    Potential audiences: This talk is a great fit for LGBTQ awareness/sensitivity in corporate settings, ERGs, Professional Network Groups, Affinity Groups, Employee Networks and Multi-cultural Advisory Committees.

In addition to the aforementioned lectures, Scott has also given talks on the following subjects:

  • Courage in the Face of Illness
  • The Casualties of Love: How to Survive a Broken Heart
  • Judaism & Homosexuality: In connection with a showing of the documentary Trembling Before G-d
  • Gay Media vs. Gay Reality
  • The Laws of Forgiveness: How to Give and Recieve an Apology
  • “I Wore a Red Ribbon:” The History of the AIDS Epidemic and How We Went From Crisis to Complacency
  • Living With HIV: An Owner’s Manual for Newly Infected and Long-Term Survivors
  • HIV/AIDS Patient-Provider Care and Management
  • Tools of the Trade: Advice from a Seasoned Sex Educator
  • The Criminalization of HIV
  • AIDS 201: A Crash Course on All That’s New in the World of HIV Today, Including PEP, PrEP, VL, BB and Other Acronyms

What to Expect

At the Middle School level:
The day includes three separate one-hour assemblies to the entire middle school, each delivered with age-appropriate material. The 6th grade class learns about the consequences of bullying, the power of words, and the ways in which they can hurt as well as heal. The 7th grade class learns about refusal skills, emotional safety and Scott’s story of HIV. The 8th grade class hears a combination of both, as well as an intensive study into their secret lives. The rest of the day is devoted to smaller classroom conversations for the 8th grade students, which serve as follow-up and question/answer sessions.

At the High School Level:
The day begins by combining 1st and 2nd periods for an all-school assembly, or an entire grade, at the very least.  The rest of the day is devoted to smaller classroom conversations which act as debriefing sessions. More importantly, this format provides a safer setting for those students that may not have the courage in the large assembly to ask the more pertinent and personal questions.  Following the final period of the day, there is an “after-school group” meeting, with either the GSA, SADD, or AIDS Ribbon Club. The day ends with an important evening conversation for the parents, as part of a regularly scheduled PTA meeting or special event.

At the College/University level:
Scott commits to doing at least three lectures beginning with a huge campus-wide presentation involving as many students as possible, pertaining to the spiritual and emotional issues surrounding the secret lives of college students. This talk is open to fraternity/sorority students, as well as the GLBT, AIDS Ribbon Project members, and other various campus organizations that are willing to get involved. The second talk can be a smaller, yet extremely important session, pertaining to sex and transmission of STIs, the “everything you always wanted to know but were never really taught” talk. This session usually follows the keynote address, in a different, more intimate setting. For a Jewish perspective, on a Friday night oneg, or an afternoon lunch and learn, this discourse provides the religious and cultural angles as well as incorporate formal Jewish text and current Jewish philosophers/poets in order to illustrate a better way in which to value our lives. For a more creative format, Scott can speak in an informal setting, such as a rap session in a specific dorm lounge or individual club or sorority; teaching part of or all of a class, i.e., Health or Intro to Psychology 101, etc., and finally, a moving talk with the LGBT or Pride Group on campus.

Weekend Retreats:
Specifically geared for BBYO, NFTY and USY events

The weekend begins with a 90-minute keynote address on Friday night, delivered to all the participants and advisors/staff. Subsequent sessions take place throughout the following day, including but not limited to “separates.” These gender-specific talks enable the teens to more freely process and discuss their feelings that arise during the keynote address. The extended time period of a weekend retreat allows for more one-on-one discussion with the teens and gives them a chance to truly be seen and heard on a more individual basis. The weekend ends with a Sunday morning friendship circle.

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